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Fiction

Dimwit Bridget Jones

bridget-jones-diary

Bridget Jones (BJ) begin her year with a long list of New Year’s resolution, of which none she could keep by the end of the year but only one, have a boyfriend by end of the year. 

So BJ set out with the desperation of having a boyfriend, moaning about lonely Valentine’s day, agonising over phone calls from men, BJ’s parents setting her up with snobbish Darcy, sleeping with her boss, at the same time sliding off a pole onto a firemen during one of her news reporting, worried about her mother running off with a younger man and her father grieving about the loss etc…. 

BJ always begin her diary with how many stones she weigh (usually 9 stones 2 no less and always justifying for her weight gain), how many alcohol units she took, how many ciggies she smokes, calories count and how many unholy thoughts she may have about a man. 

The second installation however is a more exciting treat. This time BJ follow advices of her toxic friends and self-help books to the dot that she ended up losing her Mr. Darcy. To get herself out of her sorrows, she immersed herself in her work, went off to Italy to meet the actor Colin Firth who played Mr. Darcy. Alluding to the part when Mr. Darcy jumped into the river to save his lover. “How many times altogether exactly did you have to take it off and put it on again?” “There was a change?” answer: one change. “So it was mainly just the one wet shirt though?” and on and on BJ came up with the silliest interview questions. 

Things are not going well for BJ. There was a hole in her wall because her builder wouldn’t mend it even BJ paid for it for £3500. Rebecca setting her up so that Darcy caught BJ in a compromising position with a teenage boy. She also got banged up abroad when holidaying in Thailand, where BJ’s one positive thinking viewed jail as a slimming retreat for the obese. The only thing that got her through was the poem titled “If” by Rudyard Kipling….. Just when you think perhaps BJ is going to turn over a new leaf and be a sensible young lady from now on. 

BJ is a complete idiot, whose idea to vote for the Labour party was because Tony Blair is the first PM she can completely imagine having voluntary sex with. But she is also totally profound with her crazy ideas. How about BJ’s ground breaking , great oeuvre on Code of Dating practice? i.e.

  • When a man and woman decide they would like to sleep together, if either party knows they just want a fling this should be clearly stated before hand.
  • Citizens must not go out with other citizens for years and years but keep on saying they don’t’ want to get too serious. 

And to make sure we don’t marginalise the singletons in our midst the Smug Marriage promotional suggestions:

  • Form giant Government matchmaking agency for singletons with strict code of dating practice, penalties for emotional F**kwittage and rule that you have to go on at least 12 govt- arranged dates before you can declare yourself a singleton, and only then if have reasonable grounds for rejecting all 12.
  • If grounds are deemed unreasonable, then you have to declare yourself a F**kwit. 

Maybe BJ didn’t know this, but Singapore had long established its own form of Smug Marriage promotional suggestions and implementing it to some success! (one of my primary school friend get hitched this way, the local news cover her story. Her pregnancy and birth. Value? well 2 more Singaporeans were created. Community value? hardly, merely putting two selfish people that amplifies more selfishness!). 

bridget jones 2BJ (and Fielding) had a wild sense of humour, look at this array of self-help book title:

  • What men Want
  • How men Think and What they Feel
  • Why men feel they want what they think they want
  • The rules
  • Ignoring the rules
  • Not now, honey, I’m watching the Game
  • How to seek and find the love you want
  • How to find the love you want without seeking it
  • How to find you want the Love you didn’t seek
  • Happy to be Single
  • How not to be single
  • If Buddha dated
  • If Jesus dated 

All ends well when our knight Mr. Darcy save her from jail and BJ’s reputation intact albeit a few sinister joke at work, and that Jude and vile Richard finally got married. 

On a serious note, I read BJ because I’m curious about her appeal. It is something that always happen to me, I read books that  I knew I might not like it but I had to read it to find out what’s the hype all about (such as Harry Potter’s, Twilight’s saga etc.) I suppose a lot of women identify themselves with her, hence her popularity. But I’m worried for young girls who grow up having BJ as a role model or heroine per se (she’s stupid, vulgar, irresponsible perhaps somewhat endearing!). But I enjoy reading Fielding’s writing, it is very creative and funny. On that basis, yes, I would recommend BJ to anyone who wants a chill-out read. 


Verdict: 3/5
What I like about the book: the wry and twisted humour.
What I like least about the book: The stupid things that BJ does.


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About JoV

A bookaholic that went out of control.... I eat, sleep and breathe books. Well, lately I do other stuff.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “Dimwit Bridget Jones

  1. You’re much kinder than I am. I really hated the book, the film, the people who assumed that because I am a female I would like either and the moron who gave me the soundtrack to the movie for my secret santa present the year the movie came out (I swear they only got it so they could illegally copy it before giving it to me).

    Not that I’m bitter at all.

    Posted by bernadetteinoz | August 5, 2009, 12:44 pm
    • I totally understand how you feel. I suppose it’s easier to stereotype than make time to understand individual needs. I find it disturbing to have people think just because you are a woman, you would like Bridget Jones. Buy me a subscription to “The Economist” anytime please!!! 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Posted by jovenus | August 6, 2009, 7:49 am
  2. Exactly Jovenus…I’d much rather talk about real news than shoes.

    Posted by bernadetteinoz | August 6, 2009, 11:11 pm

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Ratings Defined

0 = Abandon the book after first chapter

1 = Waste of paper, we will see what the environmentalist say about this!

2 = Skip it, read the book if you have got nothing better to do

2.5 = An average book, easily forgettable.

3 = A good read.

3.5 = A good entertaining read, a page-turner

4 = So glad that I read the book, a book with substance and invaluable for future reference

4.5 = So glad that I read the book, would pester everyone to read it, invaluable, I would want to own it and wouldn't mind a second read (something that I seldom do)

5 = The book is so good that I feel like I am on scale 4 and 4.5, and more, it blew me away and lingers on my head for weeks!

Books Read

JoV's bookshelf: read
Hold Tight
The Fault in Our Stars
The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon
The Thief
Mockingjay
Catching Fire
A Tale for the Time Being
Into the Darkest Corner
The Liars' Gospel
Goat Mountain
Strange Weather In Tokyo
Strange Shores
And the Mountains Echoed
Ten White Geese
One Step Too Far
The Innocents
The General: The ordinary man who became one of the bravest prisoners in Guantanamo
White Dog Fell from the Sky
A Virtual Love
The Fall of the Stone City


JoV's favorite books »
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Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

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